Dobson Clearing It Up

Rocky Mountain News says ultraconservative, Focus On The Family leader, James Dobson is going to “take to the airwaves,” this Wednesday and Thursday to reveal what specific assurances and information he received from ultraconservative blabbermouth Presidential advisor Karl Rove about Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers.

First of all, I love that the Rocky Mountain News actually uses that expression: “take to the airwaves.” If only I could be doing the same. Conjures up images of Jack Armstrong or The Lone Ranger and the earlier, simpler days of radio. Perhaps Dobson will wear a cape during.

Second: apparently whatever Rove said that led Dobson to support Miers, contained so much detail that it is going to take 2 days for Dobson to lay it out. God only took 5 more to create everything. And he is known to be super-efficient.

Third: This is brilliant scheduling by Dobson. He can say anything, any mea culpa, and God (his main constituent), is unlikely to be around to hear. I mean, god is already distracted by the earthquake in Pakistan and also going to be very busy on Wednesday, diverted by the Jews and Yom Kippur. (Even the most fallen away Jew will be observing the highest of the high holy days in some way, especially now that the Yankees have been eliminated.) Then Thursday the lord will be recuperating from all that hard work, and will have to get any information about Dobson Parts I and II from secondary sources.

In any case it is hard to know which media sources the supreme being relies on, since everyone claims his/her exclusive attention. I myself have had no comments here from god since I began posting, though I enter each day with hope and would gladly provide my private email address and make certain the correct spam filters are on if that is more convenient.

Then again, maybe Karl Rove will call me too, now that he has a few moments between being indicted and talking with Judy Miller, and that Time Magazine guy, and Dobson. Hearing from Rove would almost be as good as getting a note from god. I promise you that if I do, afterwards, I will take to the airwaves too, faster than you can say fun with family values.